It’s JUST Anxiety…
I know this word seems to be thrown around quite a bit lately, but let me tell you why I'm happy it's JUST anxiety.
I had a doctor's appointment this week at St. Luke's in Meridian, one that I had been putting off for months because I didn't want to make a doctor's appointment during this pandemic, I didn't want to unnecessarily take up space inside a hospital or anything like that but I was at a breaking point and felt I needed to go in.
I had mentioned in a previous blog my (irrational) fear of having a heart attack and dying. You see, I'm 33, overweight but I don't smoke so I do have that going for me, but I had two people I knew, one was a pretty good friend, who at 31 years old died from heart related issues.
I had been feeling what I thought was a pinching sensation in my heart and this would keep me up at night, and when I'd think about it my heart would race. I'd be up at 2 am staring at a clock and counting my heart rate. This was particular bad when I was home alone while my fiance was out of town.
Finally I thought, I need to make a doctor's appointment. Can't really mess around with (literal) matters of the heart. I'm glad I did. My doctor did blood tests and determined my blood pressure was normal, my cholesterol numbers were normal and my heart is functioning normal, which is great news! What he did diagnose me with, is anxiety.
I hate to even use the word anxiety because I feel like it is thrown around so frequently these days. Without a diagnosis people talk about their "anxiety" all the time, but it all made sense. The racing heart, the inability to sleep, the constant worry, all related to my anxiety of having an issue that didn't even exist.
I'd like to get back into therapy to talk about some of these things but for now, I've got some peace of mind knowing that while anxiety is quite the burden to bare, and I'm sure it's much worse for a lot of people and I truly feel for them, I'm likely not going to drop dead from a heart attack at 33.
I hope that if you're struggling with anxiety, or concerns over the heart or any other medical factor, you'll take some time to address it with a doctor as soon as you can and maybe you'll walk away with a bit more sleep as well. I'll tell you this much; I'm sleeping a lot better!