Valentine’s Day: An Alternate History

Sure, the real history of Valentine’s day is probably interesting, but the story that my kids heard is a little different.  It seems that back in ancient times, there was this couple, John and Valentina.  They had been married for many years, had a nice cave and three kids.  It seemed like everything was going well.  John had a good job at the local radio station and Valentina was staying home with the kids.   As time went on, John became more and more involved in his work and spent more and more time there.  Valentina would try to keep him home more by making special dinners for him or dressing up in his favorite outfits but it seemed like nothing could take his attention from work.  Even when he was home, he kept checking the messages on his granite phone and when they did spend time together, it was watching Boise State Basketball on the Stoney Television that John bought for the Super Rock.  It was frustrating because the team would win a bunch of games against hard teams and then lose to ones that should easily beat, but that doesn’t really have anything to do with the story.  One night, during one of these games Valentina told John that she was going to bed but he didn’t respond because he was busy answering an letter on his phone.  Upset, she locked the door to the bedroom of their cave.  He had to sleep on the rock couch and the next morning when he needed to get a new robe for work, she told him that if he wanted to get her out, he’d have to woo her.  Each day, he would try different things like flowers and chocolates. None of these things worked.  After much though and deliberation, John decided to make a grand gesture.  He went to the mayor and had the day declared “Valentina’s Day.”  With much fanfare and much jewelry, she finally opened the door and gave him a big kiss.  Over the years, as language evolved “Valentina’s Day” became “Valentine’s Day,” and that’s why to this day, men buy jewelry to get themselves off the couch!  It’s also a good lesson to make sure that you pay attention to your Valentine before you lose her for good.  Happy Valentine’s Day!