My Nose Hair and Growing Older
What is it with nose hair? If I don't trim it, it doesn't take long for it to look like I could use a weed whacker on my nostrils. What kind of evil trick of human physiology is this?
In a world where it seems body hair has become less, and less, and even more less, desirable, WHY does our body seem to fight back by making hair grow where it didn't seem like much was before...and stops growing it where it is SUPPOSED to be growing.
I'm lucky, I still have a pretty full head of hair. A lot of guys my age have been bald for several years, while others are starting to see the signs of the dreaded "male pattern baldness" creeping in.
No, my issue isn't the hair on my head. It's hair in my nose. My eyebrows are a bit suspect as well, but at least I feel like I can get away with my eyebrows being a little out of control for a day or so before I have to go after them with the "Wahl Tidy Brow Max 1000" or...whatever they call it these days.
The nose hair, on the other hand...UGH. Most women will say a man with nose hair extruding from the nostrils like an ugly little yucca plant...is right up there on the "not sexy at all" list. I mean, if we can't keep THAT man-scaping trimmed up...who knows what else is going on?
From a guys point of view, it's not always easy to keep the inhaler clear. Sure, you can meticulously trim the nostrils. It's not that hard to make sure there aren't any protruding hairs showing themselves to everyone but you (since none of can really see that without the use of a mirror). You think you've got them under control. You're feeling confident, and off to work you go.
Then it happens. You're in the 10:00 am Monday staff meeting. You subconsciously rub your nose or scratch your upper lip, and....there it is....that ONE nose hair that somehow managed to escape the "Wahl Nose Hair Annihilator 3000". Tickling you, teasing you, mocking you, DARING...DARING you to try to pull it with several of your co-workers sitting at the conference table with you.
You start to wonder if any of them can see it. You try to discreetly push it back up into your nose without drawing attention. Your eyes shift like those of a gunfighter in an old western...from co-worker to co-worker, taking stock of who may see you if you actually try to do something about it.
Just like a gunfighter, you start to sweat. Your mind fills with questions... "If I make a move, will the motion trigger a glance in my direction, filling me with embarrassment and shame?" or..."I was wondering if you were going to do something about that, Summers!" I feel my blood pressure rising. My pulse quickens. I can't want to get out of the meeting and head for the men's room to check the mirror and rid myself of this tormenting hair from hell!
The battle between man and nostril hair never ends. As I get older, it seems that it's coming more frequently. What used to be once a week or so, has become an every other day fight to keep the growth in check. So battle on I do. I check the nostrils with the wife's make up mirror on the magnified side...gazing into what looks like an abyss full of hairs, just waiting to make their escape into the daylight. Oh, and of course, as if the dark ones aren't enough., now the gray ones are making their presence known.
Now, we're being told that trimming or plucking nose hair is NOT good for us? I give up....wait...now I feel a long hair growing out of my ear? Perfect...
Maybe I'll try THIS!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Walgreens in search of Sally Hansen....