The Coronavirus From The Perspective Of A Dog

As I was going to bed last night, I found a diary that was written by my roommate’s dog.  I know you’re thinking that dogs can’t write, which is exactly what I thought until I found it.  Vinny is a terribly intelligent French Bulldog.  This stay at home order has changed everything about our world, even for Vinny.

CORONAVIRUS: DAY ONE

Dear Diary,

This is new.  Both of the people living in the house were here all day.  The nice part was that I seem to be getting all kinds of attention.  The bad part is that I seem to be getting all kinds of attention.  Most days I spend doing whatever I want, I get to chew on the couch and no one says anything.  Now I can’t even get away with having my bone on the couch.  These guys are cramping my style.  Hopefully things get back to normal tomorrow.

CORONA VIRUS: DAY TEN

Dear Diary,

The last ten days have been hell.  No one goes anywhere.  For some reason the cabinet that had my food is now stuffed with toilet paper and pasta.  I never get anytime to myself.  Honestly, I thought that I wanted more attention but now I just want to go outside hop the fence to see my girlfriend, Fiona the hot Pitbull down the street.  No one knows about me and Fiona.  They never will either ever since that mean doctor put me to sleep a few years back.  I’ve been going to see her everyday when the idiots that feed me go to work but they never leave.  I’m getting grumpy.

CORONAVIRUS: DAY FOURTEEN

Dear Diary,

Today the morons who feed me found out that I can’t get the Coronavirus.  You would think that this is good news but it’s not because now they want me with them all the time.  A little peace, please!  They both left for a while today which gave me a chance to see Fiona.  I got there and found out that she is having the same problems.  The people that feed her won’t leave her alone so I chased a goose so that I could get my 10,000 steps in and then I hightailed it back to the house.  When I say “hightailed” I mean I ran fast.  I don’t really have much of a tail.  Anyway, I made it back just in time because one of the idiots turned on Tiger King.  Seriously, this is quality entertainment.  I give it five bones.