Shortly after my husband and I started dating, a friend of his was doing a college project on Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. That was the first time I had ever heard of them! 

Are you familiar with them? According to Chapman there are five ways that couples express and experience love. They are:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

I wish I could remember what my love language was when we took the quiz for our friend's project six years ago because I truly believe that it's changed since then. We've both experienced a lot of life since 2015: moving in together, new jobs, deaths in the family...the list goes on. The pandemic tested our patience with each other. I'm someone who doesn't know how to sit still, so having nowhere to go after work SUCKED.

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He doesn't mind spending time at home and will fill his spare time doing chores like doing laundry, dishes and straightening up our living space. My parents could tell you that my entire life, I've never done any of those things until I absolutely have to. I didn't earn the nickname Hurricane Michelle for nothing. Understandably, me not outwardly saying how much I appreciate these acts of service frustrates him but I don't need him to do these things for me. Nor do I ask for him to.

I've had that conversation with one of my good girlfriends and she suggested taking the Love Language quiz again and it confirmed what she thought. When it comes to my primary love language, the one I respond to the least is "Acts of Service." My primary love language is "Words of Affirmation" meaning that unsolicited compliments go a long way in my world and negative feedback can be almost impossible to move on from. He'll be retaking the quiz soon and I'm excited to see his results so we can continue growing together in a positive way.

That said, my love language isn't consistent with the one that's most popular in Idaho! Jeweler, Shane and Co., did a study that looked at Google Trends search terms relating to Chapman's five love languages and did a survey of 2600 people to come up with the final numbers.

In Idaho, the most popular love language is "Quality Time." It was also #1 amongst women and men across the survey and the #1 love language of every age group. You can see the rest of the study HERE or take the quiz to see what your own love language is HERE. 

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