Ladies and gentleman, it is officially September! This means a shift in the seasons in many ways. Unofficial fall (still have 21 days of summer left, technically), Halloween season (for the eager), football season (both college and professional), and the little talked about but very real cuffing season. You might not know the formal term, but I bet you've participated.
"During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be "cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed." - Urban Dictionary
Circulating online is the Cuffing Season Schedule:
According to this, we have officially entered the draft. So what does that mean for us in Idaho? All the dudes and girls you were partying with at Humpin' Hannah's or floating down the river with while buzzed (we know you were drinking, it's summer!) now need to be narrowed down as potential mates. Who wasn't too belligerent after all those $2 beers and $1 shooters while Rocci Johnson killed it onstage? Who remembered to bring their waterproof cell phone baggy when you hopped into the river? These are the things you must consider!
If you haven't whittled down the list of suspects, Night Glow at the Spirit of Boise Balloon Classic this Friday is a good time to round up the potentials to see who would be a good fit. This is a wholesome and fun event, and your partner's reaction to it is a good indicator of the vibe they'll bring to the holidays. Also notice how they spend their money at the various vendor booths. Don't want to be with a cheapie during Christmas time.
Before you know it, tryouts will be here in October. Take your draft picks for a stroll down Harrison Boulevard and through the Requiem Haunted House in Boise. You learn all you need to know about a person in times of shock and fear. Check out some pumpkin patches too. These are things you can do as a group, so you're not committing to anything too serious too early.
By pre-season you need to have your choices narrowed down to two. Final test will be joining them at their respective Friendsgivings. Or going to one Friendsgiving and inviting the other to yours. Whichever makes it work. Whoever scores highest on whatever criteria you have set in your head, makes it to actual cuffing season. That's your holiday honey.
Playoffs are hard because January is such a dry month. But if you make it all the way to February 14th, the championship game, with your cuff buddy, head to Lee Read Diamonds and grab them a little something for Valentine's Day.