What It Feels Like To Be Hit In The Face With A Shovel [Part 2]

This is PART 2 of my reflections about when my daughter who has Down syndrome was born.

When the baby was born, the mood in the room changed.  No “congratulations, it’s a girl.” The medical staff got very serious and the baby and I were quickly taken the ICU while they sewed my wife up.

It was a tornado of activity and medical jargon.  Finally I got the guts to say, “will somebody please tell me what’s wrong with my baby?”

The doctor stopped what she was doing, pivoted around, and with all of the bedside manner of Dr. Lecter said, “Do you know what Down syndrome is?”

Boom.  That’s when I was hit in the face with the shovel.

I went reeling back and landed in a chair.  I couldn’t breathe and I started sobbing uncontrollably.  Of course I knew what Down syndrome was.  Didn’t everybody?  I meant that my hopes that she would one day have a family, go to college, even being able to walk or talk  -- it seemed like it was all crushed in that moment.  What are people going to say?

And….what if I don’t love her as much because of this?

(READ PART 3 HERE)