The Truth About The New Year’s Kiss

It’s finally New Year’s Eve in Boise and that means thousands of Idahoans will be downtown watching a giant potato drop from the sky, dancing the night away at their favorite club or hanging out with friends at a house party.  When the clock strikes Midnight, people will cheer and then partake in one of the most disgusting traditions that has been somehow deemed romantic: The New Year’s Kiss.   

According to English and German folklore, the first encounter you have with another person sets the tone for the entire year.  If you’re kissing your spouse or significant other, maybe that’s okay but think of the thousands of people who will be kissing total strangers or someone else’s spouse or significant other.  Is that really the tone you would want to set for the year? 

A recent survey asked people how long the perfect New Year’s kiss should last.  The results say that if it’s someone you just met, it should last seven seconds, but if it’s someone you’ve been seeing for a while, it should be long enough to “need to get a room.”   

Sure, the New Year’s kiss may sound romantic, until you hear the scientific fact that a single kiss can transfer over 80 million bacteria from one person to another.  I didn’t mean to make you second guess your plans for the night, but would you really want to start 2020 with 80 million of someone else’s bacteria in your mouth?  

Romance isn’t all lost though, because I’ve come up with a few good alternatives for you.  Imagine how hot it would be to cheer, “Happy New Year!” and then give your significant other a fist bump!  Maybe you could do a New Year’s hug, just don’t get too close, people tend to go in for the kiss after the hug and we don’t want that.  I see nothing wrong with Face Timing the person you’re standing next to and kissing your phone, well except that your phone is disgusting too.  Maybe just take a New Year’s selfie and call it a night.  Whatever you do, have a fun and safe bacteria-free New Year’s Eve!