At first, I hated the idea of wearing masks. A few months back, I talked about how I thought masks looked scary and that they were intimidating to see in grocery stores. I watched as more and more people started wearing them. In the office, people began to wear them in the hallways. Many companies, including ours, are now requiring them in times when social distancing isn't possible. I have done everything I can think of to get out of wearing them.  

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It took me some time to figure out why I didn't like the mask, but then it finally hit me. It's because I wanted the world to look normal again. The problem is that the world isn't normal right now. The world is in a messed up place, and by not wearing the mask, I keep it that way. Whether or not I believe that I am at risk for having the coronavirus is irrelevant. Whether I think that I'm healthy is irrelevant. Some experts say that there are more asymptomatic than symptomatic people carrying this virus around. Those people would never know that they have COVID-19, so there would be no reason for them to get a test. If that's true, how do I know that I haven't had it or don't have it right now?  

The science behind wearing a mask seems pretty solid. If wearing a mask will help us get people back to work, get our economy moving again, and keep people healthy, do you care how it looks? I used to look down on people wearing them in the stores. Now I hold myself back from confronting the people without one.

Because ultimately, I want life to look normal again, I have to concede that it isn't normal now. By refusing to wear a mask and living like life is normal, I'm just slowing down the process of getting back to normal.